Diary of A Girl Genius
by Lost2Paradise
Summary: Misaki Toccata is a resident of Wammy house, and fourth in line to succeed L, this is her recounting of their time together.
1. Crepes

Wammy House: Winchester, England.

June 2, 2003.

Current mental state: Stable.

Entry 1 start:

Hello, and to all reading this I say congratulations. To have broken into my system and opened my most private and well guarded files is no small feat indeed, requiring a knowledge of computers surpassing Matt's. I do believe it is proper to start out with my name, if this should be my account of my life. That name is Toccata, Misaki. I was born June third, nineteen eighty-five(making my current age seventeen). I was born to Risa and Lee Toccata in an underground bunker on Japan's west coast.

You may ask, 'Why not a hospital?' and the answer to that is simple, my father was paranoid. With good reason it turned out as, the moment he left the bunker(approximately three months after my birth), he was shot with my mother following shortly after. I was taken pity on by the man who had killed my parents, apparently having not been given instructions on what to do with me or indeed informed that i had even existed. Hence i came to live with him for the first four years of my life.

I could lie and say that those years with my parents' murderer were the worst, most scarring years of my life but the truth of the matter is that they were really rather unremarkable. He lived by himself, as is most assassins' wont. He fed me, clothed me, taught me how to speak and read and write and kill without a trace. All things young child genii raised by assassins should know. Said assassin, Marcus, raised me well and with a firm yet fair hand. He wasn't a model father figure, nor especially loving, but he was never cruel and always strove to do right by me.

On May 27, 1989 he left for one of his many missions. he never returned. I waited for two months exactly, giving him plenty of time to contact me or return, neither of which happened. I assume him dead. I left his house(for assassins do not really have 'homes', rather just places of residence.) and headed for England, my destination; Wammy House. It was hardly surprising in Marcus's line of work that sooner or later something like this should happen, and in the event of his death he had told me to search out Wammy House. All he knew was that it was in Winchester, but seeing as though the population was only forty thousand or so, he had assured me i would find it without any trouble.

This was indeed the case and, within three days i found myself within the gates of Wammy House, being tested by a man named Roger Ruvie who apparently ran the school in the founder's absence. I was admitted into the orphanage with relative ease, as a genius scoring on the IQ test presented seemed to be the only requirement to get in. From then on to the present i have been living in Wammy's House, learning, training to be the great L's successor. I am currently considered fourth in line in the list of successors, Near(N) being the first, Mello(M) second, and Matt third.

The reason for this is not lack of intelligence by any means, but merely a lack of motivation among other things. It has become Roger's favorite thing to say to me that no matter the intellect of a person, without drive they will get nowhere. It certainly seemed to be proving true as, while the other three had been visited by L to be interviewed personally, i had not. I had gotten glimpses of the man of course, but that was all they were. In truth i had no idea what the man we were all working to succeed was like at all. Not for certain anyway. I had observed several things about his personality and lifestyle from his appearance and bearing but such things could be proved false, as i have never been able to properly observe him. Until today.

Roger had called me into his office for one of his monthly 'motivation' speeches. He was in the middle of his very rousing(I'm sure) lecture. I was taping it secretly to get a voice sample so i could crack the newest alarm he'd put on the gate surrounding Wammy's(which after midnight could only be opened by voice command from him, L, Watari, and other such important people), when the dark haired legend himself walked through the door, the founder following. Roger straightened instantly, cutting himself off mid-sentence and bowing to the pair.

Watari bowed back, L nodding his acknowledgement. I watched them openly from my seat on the floor, a habit from my days living Marcus's spartan lifestyle. Roger had them turned back to me, seeming to have just remembered i was there. Here I have enclosed the conversation, as it is my first contact with L and I find it relevant to my day.

**[** "Alright Misaki, we'll talk more later. I hope until then there will be no more escape attempts from you?" he ended with a questioning inflection to give me the pretense of a choice. That was laughable. It was a warning as well though, one i had no intention of heeding.

"Escape attempt?" I scoffed slightly.

"Please, anyone here could 'escape' with little effort. And seeing as they aren't even bound here legally, there really is no point. I merely wish to explore and, seeing as i am only just fourth in line, i find it fairly safe to do so, especially given my skill set." I sighed out.

"And you are only fourth because of this attitude!" Roger ground out irritably, running a hand through his hair.

"If you would just apply yourself Misaki, you could be in the top two without a doubt. You have the ability to be first, yet you refuse to even try, why is that?" he demanded an answer from me. I only scoffed again, turning my head away petulantly. Childish I know, but that was a perk of being a genius, you could act however you wanted without question. People would just write it off as one of the many quirks that can come with the IQ. Far from absorbed with my current argument, I had continued to observe L from the corner of my eye, taking my chance to suss him out. Little could be gleaned, since all he'd been doing was standing there, but I managed to figure a few things out. He was interested in Roger and I's fight, the content in any case. The fight itself seemed to make him a bit uncomfortable, like he didn't approve of confrontations such as these. My mental evaluation was cut off as Roger seemed to give up, throwing his arms in the air as a gesture of defeat.

"Fine, but let me ask you one thing. If L needed to be succeeded now, say he died earlier today, what would you do? Would you let someone less fit for the job take over? Would you give the world less than what should be given? Would you let Near, just a child, live that lifestyle so early?" as he questioned me, three sets of eyes bore a hole into me. I narrowed my own eyes.

"Of course not! I would take your little assessment seriously and take over until he, Mello, Matt, or another surpassed me intellectually then I would relinquish control to them. I am not negligent, I just find it stupid to compete so uselessly for first when I know there are others with more potential then I." Roger looked at me then, a kind of questioning in his eyes. I rolled my own in response.

"The world, as you agree, deserves the best, the brightest to succeed L. While it is true that this person is currently me, I have seen the three grow. I have seen what they have in them, what they will one day become. In the end, I believe they will far out shine myself, and even L who they shall succeed. No offense." I nodded to him, taking this chance to more carefully observe him. He muttered a low 'None taken.' His voice was smooth, deep, and monotone, altogether nice to listen to. I stood up, already having stayed too long arguing uselessly. I would be back here when Roger got the chance, going through the same spiel as always.

"Well if we're done here, I'll just be going. I'm sure that Mello's gotten into something he shouldn't again, if he's still on the premises at all…" With that I waved over my shoulder walking out.

"It was nice to finally meet you L, Watari." I said offhandedly, as if it wasn't important, then turned the corner out of sight.**]**

I continued on, keeping a cool exterior when inside I was secretly having a melt down. My first meeting with L and Watari, and I had surely blown it. There was no way I would ever be able to work with them in the future now, as Near and Mello have with previous cases. This sucked majorly as, despite how I act or what people may think, I actually do respect them, and admire the way L solves cases. To see his process first hand would have been informative and interesting for sure. Now the opportunity may never come. The rest of the day went on as it normally does, with a few texts on assorted things such as law and physics and other light reading. I solved a few cases under the alias Alexandra Ross. I spent some time with Near and Mello as well, talking with them long into the night.

It was only when Near's head drooped as he fell asleep mid-game that I realized just how late it was. I looked to Mello whose eyes were struggling to stay open as well. I packed up the game and brought Near to bed, seeing Mello to his room before wandering off to the kitchen. My lunch had been interrupted by Roger, and I had skipped dinner in favor of cracking Matt's latest security software. Needless to say I was hungry, and seeing as though It was officially my birthday, being five in the morning, there was only one thing for it. Crepes. Some of my fondest memories of my time with Marcus had been making Crepes with him each birthday. He sucked at cooking, but Crepes were the one thing he could make perfectly.

Naturally I had learned to make them from the cradle. So I set about making plates and plates of them, by the time six rolled around and everyone shuffled down to eat, the tables were set with plates of Crepes and pitchers of different drinks. I ate in the kitchen, and not five minutes later, L walked in. I nodded my head in greeting and gestured to the remaining plates, one piled high which I had set aside for him as everyone in Wammy's knew his love for sweets.

"Crepes?" I offered. His eyes absolutely lit up as he spotted them. There were some stuffed with chocolate, with powdered sugar on top. Others were filled with cut up strawberries and crème, topped with whipped crème, there were vanilla filled, nut filled and various others.

"There's a plate for Watari here, if you would tell him when you see him, and for Roger." I commented. He merely nodded, absorbed in the sugary confections. I watched as he ate crepe after crepe after crepe, silently wondering at his lack of reaction to the massive intake of sugar. Slightly concerned that he would choke at the rate he was going I poured him a cup of tea, refilling my own while I was up. This too he added copious amounts of sugar to before even tasting. I watched as he polished off the whole plate before I had finished three of my own crepes. Having had my fill of sugar, as well as just food in general, I offered him the other two untouched crepes on my plate. He accepted these with a small, almost nonexistent smile. Though in truth with the dark bags under his eyes, contrasting with the pale white of his skin, it almost made him look…like a panda. A genius panda that sits strangely. When he had finished these two he grabbed the remaining two plates and exited, and I could only hope that they would make it to their intended consumers.


	2. Cake

June 3, 2003

Current mental state: Stable

Entry 2 start:

After the breakfast hour was over I made my way to Near's room, where I knew the child would already be awake. Near, since early childhood, had only ever needed a few hours of sleep a night and as not to have him spend the late hours of the night alone i had made a habit of staying up with him. True to form, as i approached the door this morning i could hear movement from inside. After collecting Near I lead the way back to the kitchen, making him an omelet at his request.

As I washed the dishes used and Near ate none other than Watari entered with an empty plate dotted with powdered sugar and jelly. It seems the crepes did make it. I took the plate off his hands and washed that as well much to his protest. He obviously thought it unfair that i both cooked the breakfast, and washed the dishes from it. After waving off his concerns he started a conversation with both Near and myself.

He asked mundane questions, such as how we were doing, what we had been working on lately, and if we were getting along alright with others. When Near was done eating I washed his plate and began excusing ourselves from Watari. He interrupted me with practiced ease, asking to speak to me alone. Near left without a word. Again i have included this conversation below, as it is an important point of my day.

**[**Watari sat at the table, motioning for me to do the same. After we had gotten situated he began.

"So, Miss Toccata-" I cut him off, telling him just to call me Misaki. He amended himself.

"Misaki. How do you find life at Wammy house? Now that you are eighteen, do you wish to leave?" he asked. I knew what he wanted me to say, i knew what he expected me to say, and i knew what he was waiting for me to say. The first would be something along the lines of how i was challenged here, unlike i would be anywhere else, and was content to stay here. What he expected was surely how I couldn't wait to leave and find something more interesting. The last thing, what he was waiting for me to say, was something he didn't bother trying to think about, as he knew it would be wrong. This is in fact what i chose to say.

"I am glad I was able to find this place. It has been a home to me in a time when i had none. I have found family here in Matt, Mello, and Near. I enjoy spending time here, with them, but i cannot call myself content. I don't want to be locked up in this establishment for another six years minimum. I know I am being held back here yet i cannot leave while there is not anyone here who surpasses me. If i should leave and something happens to L, i could not take over according to Wammy house rules, and should not be able to as in that time i could be swayed to a darker intention. That would leave Near or Mello to take over, but they aren't even teenagers yet, hardly suitable to take over as L. Even if they did have the mental capacity, would they have the emotional stability? So my answer is this: While I wish to leave, I shall stay until Near, Mello, and Matt reach mental and physical maturity." I explained, hoping that he would understand and respect my wishes. He, as founder, was one of three people who could actually make me leave if they saw fit. He was silent for a several moments, considering what i had said and nodding several times to himself as he thought some things through. After a while he finally nodded once more,

"Very well, but i ask that you at least take the test once more, seriously this time. No matter what you score we will not change your position in Wammy house, i merely wish to know your capabilities. Also, I may have an idea to make you feel more...useful." he bargained. I thought it over, 'test my capabilities' he said, not 'full capabilities' this struck me as odd. I look at Watari then, closely, for the first time since we had sat down. He seemed off, somehow. I thought back to out conversation, to his proposition. It seemed off too, almost rehearsed. A smile nearly spread across my face as it finally hit me. L was behind this.

"I will take the test then, and i look forward to this solution of yours." I agreed, seemingly hesitant, but hopeful. I let the smile show through a bit then, as i thanked him. He rose and followed me to the door, holding it open for me. I paused then, unable to let the chance to make things more interesting pass me by, and turned back to him. It would have been illogical to put cameras and bugs throughout the kitchen, and far easier for Watari to carry both on his person. A mic on his sleeve, and a cam on his glasses perhaps. So with this in mind i looked Watari in the eye, locating a small irregularity in his glasses and speaking directly to it.

"Well then L, let the game begin." and with that I left, not looking back once. I could just imagine the look on L's face, stoic perhaps with just a bit of surprise shown in his eyes. Oh this would be fun indeed.**]**

From there I headed to my room to think. From what I knew of L through what I have seen and from following his cases, he wouldn't just let me win the first round. Now that I think of it though, he didn't. He had gotten the first victory simply by having enticed me to take the test. Roger had tried for years to motivate me, to make me rise up to meet some sort of challenge. Yet in the space of a day, L had done it without me even realizing. I filed that away for later, to make sure I would never forget how subtle he could be. It could be essential to winning this game after all. I then set my mind to what was to come. I would be taking another IQ test, as everyone in Wammy house does every year.

Recalling what had tipped me off about L's involvement in Watari's talk with me in the first place, I knew it would be no ordinary test. His use of 'potential' instead of 'full potential' indicated that he knew I would not try to do my best, but only do good enough to surpass Near's score. Along that same line though, the use of 'potential' could have been a tip off, maybe he expected me to figure it out. In which case he had already gotten the advantage. I realized that this was in fact the truth, making the score 3 to 0 in L's favor. However, he still knew nothing about my full potential, making me a wild card of sorts. It would be foolish to think that he didn't know about at least most of my aliases by now, if not all, meaning he may have figured out a bit of how I work as well. All in all, things seemed to be in his favor so far, but that will change.

As previously stated, there is little chance of him giving me the normal sort of test, I believe it will be much harder than any other I or the others in Wammy house have taken before. L may even make it himself, giving him another advantage. He also has most definitely figured out that I will figure out the above things. This would seem to leave us at an impasse. It would be a small matter once I got the test to figure out the scoring and difficulty of the test and answer right only as many as I needed to pass Near's level. He knows that. So he must have something, some twist or another to either keep me from doing this, or render my calculations obsolete. The question is which one, and how would he do it. Perhaps-

A loud knocking broke through my train of thought, demanding attention. Mello then entered after waiting only a second or two for me to protest his coming in. When he saw me in the corner of my room, lying flat on my back on the floor(my usual deep thinking position) he rose a brow, but did not ask. It was an unspoken code between the four of us, unless we asked for help or an opinion, we kept such deep thoughts to ourselves. He had come to tell me that it was noon, and that I had been wasting the day away in my room when I had promised to go into town with him to shop for Matt's 'birthday.' The three of us(Mello, Near and I) knew his real birthday wasn't until February, but being in the top three, he had gotten a new one just in case. Near hadn't been interested in going, preferring to just tell me his idea for Matt's gift, so it was just Mello and I on this little venture.

We made our way casually to the side garden, strolling through the paths until we got to the section of yellow climbing roses. It was behind these that the only 'gap' in the fence lay. I had made it personally, three months after getting to Wammy house, and before the electric wire was strung. It had been a simple matter for me to break into the janitor's closet and take the bolt cutters. Cutting through had been the only option, as I could have been easily spotted climbing over, not to mention that there were copious amounts of barbed wire at the top. And I couldn't dig my way out since the fence extends six feet under ground, and also ends in barbed wire. Even if you were to get past it somehow, it would be too risky climbing through as Winchester was a rainy place, and the whole would no doubt fill with water. So now my normal day time exit route was a hole behind the flowers.

It was dangerous to use this path, since the fence was now electric and you couldn't touch it as you passed through, but it was the best way to get out unnoticed. I really should install resistors to break the circuit whenever the next power outage occurs. Once we got past the fence, we snuck away quickly and called for a cab. Wammy house, is of course on the outskirts on Winchester so it was more prudent to get to the main shopping center by car instead of foot. Once there we relaxed, going to a favorite café of mine for lunch. After lunch we wandered around, keeping an eyes out for something Matt may like as we enjoyed our temporary freedom. Eventually we ran out of shops with nothing to show for it. Well, the traditional shops that is.

After confirming that Mello was up to a little unconventional shopping I lead him through the backstreets to the house of an acquaintance of mine. Andrew. After knocking precisely three times, followed by one, then three again, we were let in by the hired muscle. I greeted him by name, and asked if Andy was home. Luckily he was. After some introductions he lead us downstairs to his 'cave of wonders' as he calls it. It was one of the largest collections of illegal and legal electronics I knew. After some looking both Mello and I had found what we thought Matt would enjoy most. For the sake of all parties involved I will keep exactly what these things were between Mello, Andy and I. With the gift shopping done we milled around for a bit longer. I ended up getting a delicious looking cake at a grossly underrated bakery before we called a cab.

The cake, of course, was for L if he decided to confront us about our little escapade. I didn't think for a moment that he didn't know, in fact he probably watched us leave and will watch us enter again. When we were all safely back inside Wammy house grounds I sighed in relief. I knew what dangers were out there, what could happen, what harm could come to Mello even just sneaking back in, and I was relieved that he was back without a scratch. I never enjoyed bringing anyone along with me when I sneak out, but I know that if I don't they'll find their own way. At least if I go with them, it gives them the best chance of staying safe. I walked Mello to his room, and dropped off Matt's presents in mine before going straight to the kitchen. As predicted L was there, waiting. He didn't ask questions or reprimand me, just took the cake and left. The rest of the day went slowly, dinner came and went, and I stayed up playing games with Near long after Mello and Matt had gone to bed. Around four he turned in as well and with no one else to talk to and having been up forty-six hours I too went to bed.


End file.
